I Can Feel Your Feelings Through This White Paper
by Alt3etf
Summary: AU. The Blacks move back to Forks after Billy’s accident. Jacob’s principle offers Jacob a shrink, only to have it to be the vampire who not only despises the young wolf, but wants to rip his throat out and drink him dry. J/J M/M.
1. Highway To Hell

**Title: **I Can Feel Your Feelings Through This Plain White Paper.

**Author:** alt-3-etf

**Beta: **.Silver

**Pairing:** Jasper and Jacob

**Summary: **AU. After his father's accident, the two Blacks move back to Folks. He attends Folks High school and meets the infamous Cullens. The Cullens seem to be oddly disgusted by his him. In a desperate attempt to put aside the 'loner' label, he goes to see a shrink who is of course, none other than Jasper Hale, the most intimidating out of the 'Cullen Clan'. Not only does Jasper despise Jacob, he knows his deepest emotions and what the young boy is to become. Does it turn to chaos when Jacob reaches his transaction and _imprints_ on one of the Vampires?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any Twilight characters. OC's where needed, no one major.

**Warnings: **Cursing, Male on male [eventually], methodical creatures and the usual crap.

Jacob

I sat in the back of the cab, my cheek pressed against the cool window. Lord knows I didn't want to come back here. My eyes stalked the rain drops on the glass, each one racing the other. It was cloudy outside, I didn't like it, one of the many reasons I was glad we moved to Florida was the fact it was sunny. It was always bright and the people actually had a similar skin tone to me which made me feel less inadequate.

I remember once when I was around 7, a teenage boy came up to me speaking Spanish. I simply looked at him confused. He thought I was Mexican.

I sighed as the car came to halt. We were here, at the old cabin. Oh how wonderful. It was still the same shabby, wooden box, only now there were overgrown Weeds, Grass and Poison Ivy surrounding it. All it needed was a porch, a rocking chair and my paraplegic Father to be whittling upon it for us to look like some poor ass Hillbillies.

Better yet, why not add a Shot Gun and a 15 year old Greyhound, we could be the loveably 'Livin' in the middle of nowhere' folk.

After my Father paid the Taxi driver, he insisted that I carried the boxes in. Well, I _say_ insisted, what I really mean is ordered. Ever since that damn accident, I was his fucking slave. Sure, he's in a wheel chair but that doesn't mean he can do fuck all. I mean, I know his Wife died and his Daughter but what about my Mom and Sister? Obviously I wasn't allowed to miss them.

Later that afternoon, of course after I'd done some slave labour, my Dad ordered me to unpack. Ever since that stupid accident, I was now a work donkey. Ever since that fucking accident I wasn't his son. Ever since that _damn stupid fucking_ accident, I wasn't here.

Stood in my room I sighed. It was exactly the same. My bed was against the window wall. My wardrobe sat at the foot of my bed next to my chest of draws. Exactly the same. That was the problem. I didn't want it to be the same because _it couldn't be_. My Mother was dead, my Sister was dead. I survived. He never wanted me, he always wanted _her_. Never a Son, always a _Daughter_. Why couldn't God have taken me instead?

I'd unpacked my things, along with my Fathers and we were downstairs watching the Baseball game. I wasn't really watching, I was filling in my school forms. My Father couldn't be bothered, so I had to do it. Filling in the classes I wished to take, my previous grades, health problems, if I was on medication. It was as if I were going on a fieldtrip.

Sat at the table at breakfast was painful. My Father _refused_ to speak to me. I asked if he'd pass the milk, he just licked his thumb and turned another page of his newspaper. I asked if he'd pass the orange juice, he did the same. I asked if he was getting _laid_, he just coughed. Eventually, I gave up. I stood from the table, giving him a short 'Bye' and left the Cabin. Then, off to school I went.

The school parking lot was quite small for the amount of cars parked in there. A few Motor Scooters, Bicycles, heck there was even a monstrous Hummer. I felt out of place driving my Father's old truck. I felt under every other student who owned a car, I mean, who drives a 10 year old truck headin' towards the Junk Yard? No one, that's who, I needed to find an old, but better motor to fix up and use; otherwise, it'll be like my last school – here comes Jacob Black, the geek attack.

I jumped out of my Dad's old truck, only to be engaged in some 'Aqua plane fun'. Landing on my ass, I howled out in pain. Some students laughed, others just shook their heads.

No one bothered to see if I was okay. Selfish bastards.

I walked into the school's reception; it didn't seem any different from my other school...except this school seemed enjoyed the colour white. I looked to my left, the wall was bare white. I looked to my right, another plain white wall. I could hear typing from the computer keyboard; I could hear chatting from the staff on the phones. Students and staff pushed passed me, some sitting on a line of, would you guess it, _white_ chairs. All we needed was a heart monitor and we could have been Scrubs.

I was greeted by a young woman, no older than 25. She had tight orange locks of hair, and deep blue eyes in contrast.

"Hello, how may I help you?"

Her voice was soft, yet demanding. I had a glimpse of hope; hope that I would like this school.

I cleared my throat, "Hey, I'm Jacob Black." There was a short pause, "I'm new." She smiled in recognition, "Oh right. I wondered why you were telling me your name," she giggled. She typed into her computer and she turned towards me, "I have your timetable here, your locker number and code. Also, the principle would like you to visit his office on your way to class."

I nodded as she gave me 2 sheets of white paper, "thank you." She smiled sweetly, "anytime."

As I walked out of the reception and into the school's main building. It looked like the reception, white walls, white doors, white marked tiles, hell, the only thing not white were the lockers. Cheap, old, steel grey lockers, most of them had dented doors, others had graffiti painted all over them. Oh how inviting.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a strong gust of wind blew me off balance. As I felt my weight tip, I attempted to grip onto something, emphasis on the _attempted_.

Before my hand could grab hold of something I fell backwards, closing my eyes tight I released my breath – it would stop me from being winded.

I waited. I waited and I waited and I waited for my body to hand on the floor...but it didn't. I slowly opened my eyes, from left to right. Once fully open I looked down. My body was slanted...someone had caught me. I looked up.

Well slap my ass and fuck me sideways.

An angelic form stood above me. I collected myself together and stood up.

It was a _girl_ who had caught me. A _girl_ had easily held my weight. Do you know how much I weigh? 167 pounds and trust me, it _isn't_ fat.

"I suggest that next time you keep yourself on both feet," she muttered. "Thanks, duly noted." She smiled at me and walked off. That wasn't weird.

I shook my head and stalked my way through the corridor, the principal's office had to be around here somewhere...

After waiting for what felt like hours, the principal's PA allowed me into his waiting room, which too resembled a hospital.

"Mr Black, the principal will see you now."

I nodded and walked through the heavy, wooden double doors.

His office was the average size, you could say. A few filing cabinets in a row, a plant in the far corner of the room and thin metal blinds vacating the window. This room however was mint green. _Green_, why couldn't the rest of the school be that colour? His desk looked expensive, oak I believe it was.

A photo frame stood on the desk with a table lamp above it. To be honest, his office looked like those cliché ones businessmen would own on TV.

"Let me be there first to welcome you to Folks High Mr Black." He stretched out his arms, as if gesturing me to gaze lovingly at his school. Not that I did.

He leaned forward, a smile plastered on his face, "I hear that you lived in Miami?" I nodded. I loved Miami. I truly did, oh what I wouldn't give to back there...

He moved backward, causing his black leather chair to squeak. "So, Jacob, why did you move to Folks?"

I sighed, obviously he'd ask the question with the most painful answer, "We moved _back_ to Folks because my Father had a car accident, killing my Mother and Sister, leaving him paralyzed from the waist down." He stared at me, his eyes widened with shock, "I-I'm sorry to hear that." I shrugged my shoulders.

He opened a draw of his desk and retrieved a small business card, "I don't mean to pry but...I think you should maybe see a shrink."

I felt my saw slacken, "A-A what?" He sighed slightly, "A shrink, similar to a councillor I suppose. I just think that considering you've obviously lost your Mother and your Sister quite recently?" His eyes glanced at me as I nodded, "And you've just moved to a familiar yet foreign place, with people you may or may not be used to, this all may become overwhelming...don't you agree?"

I looked at my new principal, I didn't even know his name but, he made a lot sense. I didn't want to see a shrink _just_ yet; I wanted to try everything out first before I was claimed as a nut job.

"I do agree sir, but if you wouldn't mind, I'd like to spend some time here first, getting to know people and getting my life back together before I spoke about it to a complete stranger." He seemed rather pleased with my answer, "Of course Jacob!"

I sat there watching my principal shuffle papers before he opened his huge mouth again, "I'm Mr Dawkins by the way." I nodded slowly. He had short, grey hair. The tips of his locks curled at the ends. He was quite big, like me, but I doubt it's from 5,000 hours of working out. He seemed an okay man.

The bell chimed in my eyes, "Ah, I do believe you have class." I stood and headed for the door, "Oh Jacob?" I faced my head, "Yeah?" He smiled, "When you're ready just say." I nodded and bolted out of his office.

So, I'd been at school for less than 2 hours and I already felt _inadequate._

I sighed and headed for my first class, Chemistry.

I sat down at the back of the class, making sure I was out of looking distance of every student. My eyes wondered round the room. A periodic table was hanging above the white board, other various science related posters were stuck around the room. Unfortunately, you could still see the _**white**_.

Once the students had filed in, the register was called; obviously I was at the bottom due to my recent enrolment. There were merely 19 students in the class. Mike, Eric, Jessica, Alice,

Edward and a bunch of other names that ran into one. When I answered my name, at least half of the 'enormous' class turned to look at me. Great, the one time I decide to leave my hair down.

"Can any of you tell me what a 'Mole' is?" A girl with blonde hair raised her hand, "An animal?" A few students giggled. This was going to be a _long_ Chemistry lesson. The teacher smiled and repeated his question, this time _I_ raised my hand, and I was indeed called upon.

"Jacob?" "A Mole is like a dozen. It's a word for a number. Like a dozen is 12, half a dozen is 6 and a baker's dozen is 13."

He nodded with the same smile on his face, "And does anyone know the number 'Mole' represents?"

None lifted their hands. It was one of those 'tumbleweed and cricket' moments.

I raised my hand again, "6.3 times 10 to the power of 23."

My teacher gasped flabbergasted. What's the big deal? It's Chemistry.

"Well, I'm glad to know _someone_ listens to their teacher."

I sighed. Great, now I was going to be the geek.


	2. New School

**Title: **I Can Feel Your Feelings Through This White Paper.

**Author:** _alt-3-etf_

**Beta: .Silver**

**Pairing:** Jasper and Jacob

**Summary: **AU. After his father's accident, the two Blacks move back to Folks. He attends Folks High school and meets the infamous Cullens. The Cullens seem to be oddly disgusted by his him. In a desperate attempt to put aside the 'loner' label, he goes to see a shrink who is of course, none other than Jasper Hale, the most intimidating out of the 'Cullen Clan'. Not only does Jasper despise Jacob, he knows his deepest emotions and what the young boy is to become. Does it turn to chaos when Jacob reaches his transaction and _imprints_ on one of the Vampires?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any Twilight characters. OC's where needed, no one major. Some minor changes too – they have fangs that come out when they get aroused, smell blood etc. They also sleep eventually just every...two weeks or so, not every night.

**Warnings: **Cursing, Male on male [eventually], methodical creatures. **RACIST COMMENTS I DO NOT MEAN TO OFFEND!**

**Author's Note: **Thank you everyone who reviewed my last chapter _and_ those who put it on alert and whatnot, it means a lot to me  I made some mistakes in the last chapter. I apologise – I'm not used to FF yet, LJ junkie I is. Watch **TRUE BLOOD**! 

As soon as the bell rang, I sprinted out of class. In the hall, I shuddered; it was going to happen _all_ over again. I knew it. Now, whether I wanted to believe it or not was a completely different matter.

Standing in the corridor in the middle of a mass stampede of over 1,000 students wasn't the best idea I'd ever had. Pushed, dragged, I was carried along with the herd, until I ended up outside my next class;

English.

Strolling into the classroom, I was stopped.

"You must be the new student. Hello, I'm Miss Smith. I would like you to take a seat next to Edward, if you didn't mind."

Edward? I think he was in my last class...

"He's sat on the second desk to the front, on the left side of the room," she injected sweetly. I nodded a 'Thank You' and made my way to _Edward._

I sat down on the incredibly low chair and turned to my classmate, formally known as Edward.

"Hey, um, I'm Jacob." I stuck out my hand; I wanted to be nice you know? A good handshake and be like _men._

He didn't turn to look at me; he looked down at the wooden desk, writing something in his work book. He snorted with a smirk on his face, "I know who you are _Black_."

I reclined my hand, staring at him in disbelief, "There's no need to be rude, I was only trying to be polite, _Edward_."

He turned toward me at last.

Leaning in close, as if her were telling me a secret, he ordered harshly, "Now listen to me, _Jacob._" He quickly scanned the classroom, obviously this little convocation was just for me, "I don't know what game you're playing but listen to me."

I looked at him closely. His eyes were an odd mixture, bright but dark gold. I'm not sure how it fits, they were dark but they shone. His hair was like a chocolate orange, luxurious brown with rich orange strips. His skin was pale, deathly pale, it was almost as if he were albino...

"You don't talk to me," he spat. "You don't talk to me, you don't look at me, and certainly you don't even breathe the same oxygen as me."

Anger washed over me. How dare he? How _fucking_ dare he?! All I gave him was a greeting and now he's treating me like his mortal rival? What a knob head.

"I don't like you _Jacob Black_. I never _have_ and I never _will_."

Have?

"W-what the fuck are you talking about? I haven't met you before; I don't even know your fucking surname, so what the hell are you blabbering about?"

His eyes narrowed, and I knew I'd pushed him.

"You, don't talk to me. Not now, not ever. Go kill yourself for all I care. You're a stupid, pathetic, Native American _dog_ who deserved to be hung by the lead your owner walks you with."

He spat on the floor, literally, his saliva landing a few inches away from my feet and turned his gaze to the front of the class. Well, what was I supposed to say to that?

I sat in complete silence for the rest of the class, my mind rewinding the words Edward had hissed at me. Why did he hate me? Had I met him someplace before I came here? But what struck me most was why did he call me a dog? I knew that socially, I was under him but did he mean _physically_?

The bell rang and it was as if Edward couldn't get out of the room fast enough. That bell went and he made a break for it. I don't think a rabbit ran _that_ fast from a fox.

Slowly, I made my way out of the class, making sure I was last out to avoid any...unexpected events. Like notes being stuck to my back, gum tangled in my hair or being tripped up. I know it was only my first day but I wouldn't put it passed someone. Teenagers are cruel, sick, twisted, and even sadistic. I should know I've experienced it firsthand.

It took 5 minutes for me to realise it was Lunch period. Walking past the cafeteria, I took a quick glance. Terror hit me like a ton o' bricks. The students had filed in, eating their lunches, talking about nothing. I took a deep breath and began my journey to hell.

The girl in front of me turned round, her pale features almost identical to Edward's.

"Hey, I'm Alice."

I let her appearance seep in. Her short hair – twinning Edward's with her petit frame intimidating me. Her eyes were oddly the same colour as Edward's. I thought they were related somehow.

I nodded a greeting. If I got attached to someone, regardless of who they were I knew they'd betray me one way or another. Whether it be by revealing my darkest secret or, joining in with the torture other students would force me to endure.

Her head tilted to the side as if she were inspecting me.

I raised my eyebrow questioningly, "what?"

She smiled shaking her head, "oh nothing. I was just wondering if you have a girlfriend."

My eyes widened, "excuse me?"

Smiling wider, she laughed, "I'm not asking you out Jacob, I was just wondering."

I creased my forehead, "how did you know my name?"

She stalled.

A thunderous scream pierced through the lunch hall. Heads turned towards the noise, revealing a young girl with her left forearmed ripped open by shards of glass.

Alice stood stiff still. Her gaze fixed on the ruby-like liquid gushing from the girl's arm. She clenched her teeth while her hands began to shake. Suddenly she was gone from my sight. One moment she was there and then, poof, all gone.

I didn't see the point in queuing for a meal anymore – after the sight of blood my appetite had disappeared, like Alice had.

I walked onto the outside grounds. It was raining heavily. I sighed while I sat against a thick tree trunk.

Resting my head against it, I closed my eyes and took deep, shaky breaths.

Feeling the heavy water hitting my skull caused me to relax for the first time in months. I sighed again.

I missed my Mom. I could remember her piercing blue eyes, her soft, Native American skin. God, how I wished she was there hold me, to reassure me I was okay. I even missed my Sister. No matter how much she annoyed me, she knew I loved her.

I felt myself slip into a light daze, my brain skimming over the painful events that ruined my life.

'_...It's the end of the world as we know it-'_

"_Billy, shut that rubbish off." My dad glanced at his wife and changed the station. He knew Mom hated that sort of music, so why did he put it on whenever she was in the car? Was it to get her angry? Did he have some fetish for violence?_

"_Thank you dear." She placed a sweet kiss on his cheek, causing them to glow._

_Silence rippled through us, no one spoke a word._

_My knees were tightly against my chest with my arms wrapped round them. My cheek rested on my knees, helping me look out of the window to my right._

_That's why we were there. I'd been in a fight at school._

_Jason and Rick slammed me against my locker, "I think the _fag_ needs to be taught a lesson, don't cha think Rick?" Jason's hand groped my groin, causing me to yelp._

_Rick smirked, "I do indeed Jason." His gaze fell from his buddy, to me. I could feel the lust burn through me. I shuddered. I knew what was going to happen to me._

_A tear streamed down my cheek as I thought about it. It still hurt._

_Never had I felt so...dirty._

_I could feel Rachel's stare so I turned to look at her. Her eyes were overflowing with guilt. So they fucking should have been too. It's __her__ fault they knew. She told __them__. It was __her__ evil bidding._

_I hated her. I fucking __**HATED**__ her._

_I glared at my sibling, mouthing the words, 'Fuck you.'_

_She grimaced._

_My Father was the first to break the silence, "I don't get why you let them do it to you Jake."_

_I turned my gaze to the back of the driver's seat._

"_You could have defended yourself or maybe shouted for help," he sighed. "Maybe you are just a little fag."_

_My Mom was the first to intervene._

"_BILLY!" There was a loud 'slap' echoing through the car._

"_How __dare__ you say that about our son!"_

"_Well, that's what he is Sarah! You heard Rachel!"_

_I glared at my sister once more. She betrayed me again._

"_I don't care Billy, he's our son and we should love him no matter who _he_ loves."_

_My Father shook his head aggressively, "No Sarah. Being homosexual just aint right!"_

_His wife scoffed, "Billy, if that's what you believe, then you should call the police about what happened to Jake! Obviously __they're__ the ones who're homosexual for what they did to our son!"_

_I looked at my Father through his rear view mirror, "No Sarah, he aint no son o' mine."_

I choked back a sob.

No one was ever going to love me again.

I was going to wallow in loss and despair and rot on my own.

___

After my long, shallow event of self pity, I had Ancient Mythology. I picked that class because I'd always been interested in how different cultures believed in such bazaar things.

Again, I sat at the back of the class, in my soggy clothes, avoiding any stares or glares that may come my way.

It didn't particularly help, I still got weird looks from students has they made their way to their seats.

I waited for the teacher to enter the room but it seemed like it would be a while as many students were stood next to their friends' desks chatting away like no tomorrow.

I silently spied on my fellow classmates. A group of girls in the front corner were chatting away, their hands moving when they were trying to describe something and their facial expressions rather scary.

A clan of guys were at the other end of the room, laughing and smiling. I wish I were part of that group, but I wouldn't be. Not then and definitely not now.

A tall, blonde haired man walked into the class. I thought he was a teacher, but he appeared not to be when he sat to the only vacant seat – next to me.

He seemed quite stiff while he sat. His posture completely perfect, his back was so straight it could have been a ruler, his head looked ahead. He was completely unaware of me.

I cleared my throat, "Hello, I'm Jacob."

His head turned, his body didn't move, "I know who you are."

He too, had the same golden eyes as Alice and Edward.

My own head slanted slightly, "How do you know who I am."

He sneered, "Because I can _smell _you."

I swallowed the large lump in my throat, "s-smell?"

A growl came from his throat.

"Listen to me _dog_."

There it was again, _dog_.

"I don't want you to talk to me, or my family. We aren't so fond of your _kind_."

I was dismayed, "my _kind_?" We?

So what, now he was being _racist_?

He scoffed, "you Quileute's are all the same."

I just sat there staring at him, completely awestruck.

___

When the bell went, the blonde haired man whisked himself out of the class room, again, another student just like Edward. This was starting to get a little freaky.

When the bell signalled school was over, I made my way to my dad's old truck.

I didn't do it excitedly; I didn't sprint with open arms. I just strolled slowly, counting the seconds until I was under the same roof as my so called _Father_.

I could feel the eyes on him, their curiosity, their hatred, and even their pity. I didn't want, any of it. I wanted to tear them limb from limb, sink my teeth into their flesh, and make them feel my pain. I wanted-

Oh my God.

I wanted to _kill_ them.

What kind of sick _faggot _was I?

Climbing into the trunk, I started the ignition. I wasn't looking forward to going home.

___

I walked along the cobbles laid out as a drive way. I entered the _shack_ and slammed the door shut.

"Dad, I'm home!"

I got no reply. Sighing, I headed for the living room and popped my head round the door frame, only to find my Dad watching the game. I don't know what game, sports was really my thing. That was something _else_ that irritated him.

"Dad, I'm home."

He grunted at me, taking a long swig of his beer.

I sighed again. I had to do it.

Walking into the living room, I turned off the TV.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

I turned to him, "we need to talk."

"Is it more important than the game?"

"Yes Dad, _more_ important than the game."

He grunted, "Well, what do you want?"

I took one good look at my Father, "Why do you hate me?"

Blinking slowly, he folded his arms, "What do you mean?"

I rolled my eyes, "Oh c'mon _Dad_. It doesn't take a genius to figure it out. Ever since the accident you've said no more than 10 sentences to me. I want to know _why_."

"I haven't felt like talking."

I laughed darkly, "What a load of _bull shit!_"

"Watch your mouth young man!"

"Why? Are you going to punish me? Send me to my room?"

He seemed enraged, "You will do what you're told!"

"Fuck you Dad. Why do you hate me huh?"

I stood in front of him.

"Is it because Rachel went instead of me?" Silence.

"Is it because Mom went instead of me?" Silence.

"Is it because I'm a _faggot_?" He glared at me.

"You don't want to know," he whispered.

"Just. Tell. Me. The. Truth," I gritted.

"You can't handle the truth."

"Try me! Maybe for once you'll realise I'm _smarter_ than you think I am."

He laughed, "Oh yeah like you were with those two boys?"

I stopped breathing.

"_What?_"

He smirked, "If you're _so_ smart Jacob, then why did you let those boys do that to you?"

I glared at him, "I _didn't_. They took it. I tried to fight them off but it's kinda hard with one of them pinning you down and covering your mouth while the other one _rapes_ you."

He shook his head, rolling his eyes, "You're the reason my girls are gone."

"What?"

"It's _your_ fault Sarah and Rachel are dead."

"How the _fuck _is it?"

He leant forward, lowering the volume of his voice, "If you weren't pulled out of the car first, Rachel would have survived."

"Then I wouldn't have."

He nodded, "I know, _that's the point._"

Pain stabbed my heart. That was the most horrific thing anyone had ever muttered to me. More painful than the comment, names, anything you can think of. Nothing has ever hurt as much as that.

"Mom would still be dead though, so how does it work?"

He smiled sadistically, "Sarah was in front of her, they would have dragged her out, followed by me. I would have requested that _you_ be left in there as you were already dead."

But I wasn't dead. I was relatively unharmed. A few scratches here and there but that's it.

"I wasn't."

"I know, but if they left you trapped in the ruins, you would have died from dehydration or from starvation eventually."

I wouldn't believe what I was hearing. My own _father_ wanted me to die.

"Is that why you hate me? Because I lived and you're precious _girls_ didn't?"

"Yes Jacob, that's why I hate you," he muttered.


	3. Kid's Determination

**Title: **I Can Feel Your Feelings Through This White Paper.

**Author:** _alt-3-etf_

**Beta: **_EVS_

**Pairing:** Jasper and Jacob

**Summary: **AU. The Blacks move back to Forks after Billy's accident. Jacob's principle offers Jacob a shrink, only to have it to be the vampire who not only despises the young wolf, but wants to rip his throat out and drink him dray. It's not too good when Jacob imprints on him.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any Twilight characters. OC's where needed, no one major. Some minor changes too – they have fangs that come out when they get aroused, smell blood etc. They also sleep eventually just every...two weeks or so, not every night.

**Warnings: **Cursing, Male on male [eventually], mythological creatures. **RACIST COMMENTS I DO NOT MEAN TO OFFEND!**

**Author's Note: **Thank you everyone who reviewed my last chapter _and_ those who put it on alert and whatnot, it means a lot to me :). Also to the grammar Nazis, you may annoy people but, we love you deep down ^^.

___

I stared at him in disbelief. My own father _hated_ me. Not just disliked, he _hated_ me. I would understand if it were for something I'd personally done, like set a building on fire, set fireworks off in the shed but no, it was for something completely _out of my control_.

"Jacob," he started.

"I want you out of my house by morning."

I blinked, "what?"

"You heard me, you are my son no longer," he stated. He didn't look at me. He didn't move. He just looked at his limp legs, his lips tight.

"What're you talking about?" I shouted, "Of course I'm your fucking son! I have your shitty Y chromosome in my balls!"

"You are _not_ my son. I disown you from my family, and I disown you from my name. You will no longer call me 'father' and you will no longer call Sarah 'mother' or Rachel 'sister'. Now, get out of my house before I call Charlie."

I took a good look at him. How could he do this to me? I wasn't even 18, he was disowning a minor. Where was I going to live?

"Where am I going to live?" I whispered.

"I don't know and I don't care. I want you out of this house before midnight." He wheeled himself out of the living and out of the house entirely.

I stood there, still in shock. My father had just kicked me out, kicked me onto the street like a stray dog.

Heavily, I sighed. I began walking up the stairs taking one step at time. I was in no rush; I had nothing to take with me. Where was I going to go? In all honesty, I had no idea. I had faint thoughts of a homeless shelter but that was all the way in Seattle and how the fuck was I supposed to get there?

I was so wrapped up in worrying where I was going to stay; I tripped over an unpacked box. I landed face first on the hardwood floor. Getting back up, I looked at the label.

'_Camping stuff'_

That's it, I thought, I could camp in the forest.

With a smile on my face, I pulled the box into my room and rummaged through its contents.

A gas cooker, vacuum packed food, a tent, sleeping bag, oil lamp, oil, spare gas for the cooker, a large camping rucksack and two large water containers.

I stuffed all the camping gear into the rucksack, cramming in some clothes along with my tooth brush, toothpaste and soap.

After I believed I'd packed everything I needed I saw it, the photograph of us, my family. I remembered that day. We were at the beach during summer vacation. Oh, how I miss it.

Grabbing the photo, I grimaced. Billy was in the photo, I didn't want him in it.

Pulling the paper from the glass frame, I tore my father out of the photo, good job he was at the end, and folded it carefully before putting it in my pocket.

I emptied my wallet to find 50 bucks, I couldn't live off that but it was going to have to do.

It hurt you know, having to leave home. Be disowned by my father because of an accident that was really _his_ fault.

Flipping the bag on my back, I preceded my way down the steps and walked out of that dreadful shack.

___

**Six weeks** passed.

Granted, living in a tent, far away from civilization wasn't the best idea for a 16 year old but I was happy and alone. So, so alone.

I was beginning to lose weight, majorly. I had one meal every 3 days, as I only had $50 and 30 pieces of hydrated food, which had now gone down to 10. I had to compromise. My clothes were getting too baggy for my body and I had to persuade my gym teacher I was too weak for active lessons. In all honesty, I _was_ too weak, it took all my effort to carry my camping bag to school and back to my tent.

My hair was becoming a nuisance so; I cut it all off even though it began to fall out due to lack of nourishment.

I took showers in the gym, every day after school I'd sneak into the showers and clean myself. It wasn't much but I was getting by despite the fact my grades were at a minimum.

I would refill my water containers everyday at the school fountain. I may not have eaten a lot but I drank like a horse. It meant the headaches I received were minimised.

Even though I was constantly hungry, even though my clothes were dirty and even though I could barely stand, I was happy.

I had no one, except school staff, tell me what to do. I could sleep whenever I wanted, do whatever I wanted. I hadn't spent the 50 bucks I had and I wasn't going to. I kept that money for when I ran out of camping rations and when that ran out...well I guess I was just going to starve.

I'd applied for jobs in nearly every store and working facility in town but no one was hiring due to the recent recession which was great. I was homeless, skint and completely isolated.

I sat outside for lunch that day, the sun wasn't out but it wasn't raining which was quite a shock. I sat under the large tree I had found refuge in the first day of school. It was my safe haven, my sanctuary, my utopia.

There I sat, my right temple resting against my tucked in knees, my arms wrapped round my legs with my eyes scanning the eating area.

They were sat there you know, the Cullens.

Edward sat next to Alice, he slouched over the picnic table obviously bored while a blonde girl spoke. It was the girl who'd coughed me on my first day, maybe they were related?

Alice seemed quite happy, joining in with the conversation unlike Edward.

Next to the blonde was a big guy. People say big and they mean someone who is slightly over weight or pretty buff. _Pretty buff_ doesn't cover it. Suddenly, he belted out a laugh causing fellow students to freeze in fright.

My eyes travelled to the centre of the group.

My stare was captivated by his golden eyes. His luscious blonde hair flared as the breeze pushed past. His magnificently sculpted face hardened as I blinked.

An excruciating pain shot through my head. I flinched, gripping my temples, gritting my teeth. It pumped again and again, throbbing fiercely. My body would jilt at ever throb. I cried out in pain, God kill me now!

The world around me changed, the colours swirled, the light faded and I was dragged deep into the fatal pit of black.

___

Sorry if it disappoints you, it's a filler chapter. I promise the plot thickens within the next two chapters. Sorry it's so short and sorry for any mistakes, my beta is currently away.

I hope you enjoyed it.

Thank fer reading,

Alt3etf.


	4. Break Out In Sweats

**Title: **I Can Feel Your Feelings Through This White Paper.

**Author:** _alt-3-etf_

**Beta: **_EVS_

**Pairing:** Jasper and Jacob

**Summary: **AU. The Blacks move back to Forks after Billy's accident. Jacob's principle offers Jacob a shrink, only to have it to be the vampire who not only despises the young wolf, but wants to rip his throat out and drink him dray. It's not too good when Jacob imprints on him.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any Twilight characters. OC's where needed, no one major. Some minor changes too – they have fangs that come out when they get aroused, smell blood etc. They also sleep eventually just every...two weeks or so, not every night.

**Warnings: **Cursing, Male on male [eventually], mythological creatures. **RACIST COMMENTS I DO NOT MEAN TO OFFEND! **_Mention of drugs in this chapter._

**Author's Note: **Thank you everyone who reviewed my last chapter _and_ those who put it on alert and whatnot, it means a lot to me :). Also to the grammar Nazis, you may annoy people but, we love you deep down ^^. It's my birthday tomorrow ^^.

___

My eyes snapped open, only to squint at the bright light shinning in them. I groaned. Not only had I been asleep outside, the sun had decided to come out. I skin was on fire. Sun stroke.

I sighed and stretched my arms, cracking my back and next in the process.

Scanning the area, I realised I wasn't at school. Oh no, I was outside my tent with my bag laid next to me. Odd.

I sat up and winced. _Fuck my head!_

Rubbing my temples I stood, only to have my body sway. I felt drunk, out of control. My sight became blurry again, my chest became tight. I was going to lose consciousness again.

I didn't. It suddenly subsided. Thank God.

Feeling human again, I checked my old, scratched watch. 5:31.

It was sunny at half past 5 in the afternoon? The weather was getting kinda freaky...

I shoved my camping bag in my tent and crawled in after it. I had nowhere else to go, I may as well sleep.

As I was climbing into my sleeping bag, something sharp stabbed me in my thigh.

The shirk.

Their business card stabbed my thigh. Why in God's name would I call them? Would I call them? I couldn't, they'd think I was some sort of freak...or they'd call the police on dad sorry, Billy. They couldn't do that...although they were supposed to keep things confidential...unless I intended to hurt myself or others...but who was I going to hurt besides myself? Who the fuck were they going to call? Buck Rodgers? I didn't think so.

As I walked through the town, I sighed. Finding a pay phone wasn't that easy. There were many a few years back but since no one drove through Forks nor used the pay phones as cell phones ruled their lives, they got rid of them.

I slipped in a few nickels after dialling the number and waited for the phone to be answered.

"Good Evening, you have reached Dr Hale's office, this is Esme speaking, how may I help you?"

Her voice was soft, mesmerising...

"Uh, yeah, hi. This is Jacob Black. I was told to call to make an appointment?" I asked uneasily.

"Of course Mr Black!" she squealed.

"When would you like the appointment made for?"

I bit my lip, winding my finger round the phone's cord.

"As soon as possible...please?"

"Uh huh, well Mr Black is tomorrow okay with you, at 5:30?"

"Yes that's fine."

"Okay Mr Black, just to confirm, your appointment is tomorrow at 5:30?"

"Yes, it is."

"Okay, Mr Hale looks forward to seeing you. Good day sir."

"Wait!" I cried.

"Yes?"

I paused, "How do you get to...Dr Hale's office?"

"Do you know where the High school is sir?"

"Yes," I replied.

"Well, down the same road there is a small building, it has a sign in the window saying 'Dr Hale Psychologist'."

"Thank you Esme," I smiled.

"You're most welcome Mr Black, see you tomorrow."

The line went dead.

___

I sat in Chemistry, writing down the difference between exothermic and endothermic reactions.

By the feel of it, my body was doing an endothermic reaction. My body was on fire. Sweat dripped off my skin, my frame was flushed. I looked like I'd just been for a wank.

"Mr Black, are you ok?"

I lift my head to face my teacher. The students in front of me had averted their gaze to mine.

"Yeah, why'd you ask?" I mumbled.

"Well, you're sweating and flustered."

Sniggers rippled through the room.

I shrugged, my eyes drooping slightly, "'m fine sir."

"Have you taken any drugs?" His voice was low, serious. I raised my eyebrow, drugs? He thought I'd taken drugs? Of course I had. I had some E before I walked into class just to take the edge off. No, sorry, I stole some Copper Sulphate, a whole 0.00 grams.

"No sir, I haven't taken any drugs. I think I may have a cold."

He nodded and continued his speech.

Delta H? I've already done this. I already _know_ this.

I copied off the board anyway, despite the pain that rippled through me. Despite the hot flushes sweeping over me. Despite I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer.

The bell rang, and I was on my way.

I walked into the English room, and took my empty desk.

Edward had moved across the room, in fact, no one sat near me. I think I smelt bad. Then I did thanks to the amount of sweat my body was producing. Screw a class trip to Niagara Falls, use me and save money.

The lesson dragged. Miss Smith spoke about some famous Authors and Poets.

Edger Allan Poe, Charlotte Bronte, you know, authors of books only people who _enjoy_ reading read.

I had my head on the table, my arms wrapped round it, shielding my hair from the teacher. I was sweating more, my blood pulsing, my muscles aching. I felt horrific.

Again, the bell rang and we were dismissed.

_They _were sorry. I was asked to stay behind. Well, I wasn't going anywhere any time soon, I could barely stay awake.

"Jacob?"

I had no energy to lift my head so, I simply turned it so I could look the teacher in the eye.

"Are you okay?"

I shrugged, closing my eyes.

"Maybe you should go home."

I snorted and sat up, grabbing my stuff.

"Nope, that won't be necessary Miss, I'm fine. Fit as a fiddle," I lied.

She nodded as I made my way out of class and into my lunch period.

I sat beneath the tree again. My head resting on the bark with my body pulsing. I closed my eyes letting my ears hear the sounds my body would usually ignore.

Laughter, anger, wind, cars, whispers.

Shaking my head, I tried to relax. If I were going to go to my next lesson, I needed to rest.

As the students started to file inside, I followed them slowly. I didn't want to go to Ancient Mythology.

The blonde guy too, had moved seats. He was at the front of the class, next to a group of oogling teen-girls.

This week, we skimmed the legends of werewolves.

Some of the legends were quite bazaar. How can you only kill one with silver or gold bullets? What about nickel? It'll give 'em nickel poising.

It was often the misused term for shape shifters, who chose the form of a wolf.

I sighed. I started to feel worse, more sweat escaped my pores, my throat was dry, I needed water but I had forgotten my bag this morning as I slept in and had to _sprint_ to school.

School was out.

___

As 5:30 approached, I walked down the road trying to find Dr Hale's office.

Esme was right, it _was_ as small building, no larger than the diner at the cross roads. The window was large, blocked with white, vertical blinds with a small sign, saying what Esme had said.

I'd found it.

A bell rang as I opened the door, signalling I had arrived. It rang through my head, causing my headache to cringe with my whole body to follow.

"Good Afternoon Mr Black, please take a seat, Dr Hale will be with you shortly."

I took a seat in the waiting room.

The room was small and mint green. It was a change from the white walls at school. The chairs were darker than the walls and the carpet was darker still. A small pine table stood centre stage, filled with old magazines for helpless patients to read.

The colours hurt my eyes.

"Jacob Black?"

I looked up at the woman.

She had short brunette hair, hanging loosely next to her ears. Dull eyes hid behind her bangs. She was fairly tall and slender. She looked like a mother.

I stood, feeling light headed.

I followed the woman; I believed to be Esme, through a set of heavy wooden doors. They looked like Principal Dawkins'. Had we entered the school through a secret entrance?

The office however, was completely different.

The walls were a light orange, with numerous awards hanging on the wall. Thick, dark wooden blinds blocked out the sun.

"Dr Hale, Mr Black is here to see you now."

The woman left the room, leave me alone, in a room full of seats and papers with a complete stranger. In fact, where was the stranger?

As if on cue, Dr Hale walked in.

My eyes bulged, "You?"

Dr Hale smiled, "Hello Jacob."

It was _him_. _Him_ from my Ancient Mythology class. The one who seemed to be quite racist towards me and called me a _dog_.

"Please, sit." He gestured with his hand.

I took a pew on a small leather sofa, and he took one opposite me, in a small cushioned chair.

"Well, let's start from the beginning shall we?"

___

Sorry it isn't too good. It's almost 4 am, and it's boiling in this room.

Sorry for mistakes, and everything else.

-Alt3Etf.


	5. The Change

**Title: **I Can Feel Your Feelings Through This White Paper.

**Author:** _alt-3-etf_

**Beta: **_EVS_

**Pairing:** Jasper and Jacob

**Summary: **AU. The Blacks move back to Forks after Billy's accident. Jacob's principle offers Jacob a shrink, only to have it to be the vampire who not only despises the young wolf, but wants to rip his throat out and drink him dray. It's not too good when Jacob imprints on him.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any Twilight characters. OC's where needed, no one major. Some minor changes too – they have fangs that come out when they get aroused, smell blood etc. They also sleep eventually just every...two weeks or so, not every night.

**Warnings: **Cursing, Male on male [eventually], mythological creatures. **RACIST COMMENTS I DO NOT MEAN TO OFFEND! **_Mention of drugs in this chapter._

**Author's Note: **Thank you everyone who reviewed, read and added me/this fic to their favourites. It honestly makes me smile :) By the way, thank you to **Lord Rekhyt** for wishing me a happy birthday, I did **Emerald Vs Silver** came to my house and the present she got me was _amazing_. :)

___

It was _him_. _Him_ from my Ancient Mythology class, the one who seemed to be quite racist towards me and, called me a _dog_.

"Please, sit." He gestured with his hand.

I took a pew on a small leather sofa, and he took one opposite me, in a small cushioned chair.

"Well, let's start from the beginning shall we?"

I grunted, "Which beginning?"

He smiled shortly, "Well, why don't you start with why you moved _away_ from Forks in the first place." His hair fell gently in front of his eyes and I suddenly had an innocent urge to brush it aside. Wait, what? I wanted to move it out of his face and kiss his soft, plum lips.

_**WHAT?!**_

I blinked fast, my headache got worse. My pulse was racing, my chest was tight and I think I just voided my bowels...wait, no. I didn't.

I watched Dr Hale's eyes change. And when I say change, I mean change in _emotion_. One minute his eyes were bright, happy, understanding, the next they were hard, wanting and what looked like...lust.

"I-I don't know why we moved away. My mom said it was because they needed a change of scenery..." I swallowed. His perfect, blonde eyebrow rose.

"Oh, so why did you move back?"

I didn't stutter this time but I didn't answer quickly. I sat on the couch, looking at my lap, where my hands rested.

"It's a long story," I muttered. My voice was low and unemotive. I didn't want him to catch on.

"Obviously, this _long story_ has a strong, emotional hold on you."

I glared up at him. How the fuck did he know?

"You feel angry that I know it has a hold on you."

I grunted.

"So, Jacob, are you going to continue?" His hand gave a soft gesture for me to continue. I stared at him blankly.

"What is there to continue? We moved away because my mom wanted to, nothing else to tell."

He suddenly had a pad of white paper, and a pen in his hand. Beginning to scribble away, I felt my head throb. I grimaced while placing my palm over my forehead.

Dr Hale lifted his head quickly, "Are you okay Jacob?"

My throat became thick and swollen. I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out, not even a singly breath. My chest became incredibly tight, not only making me silently wheeze but stop my breathing all together.

I stood, for the apparent thought it would straighten out my wind pipe, despite the fact the problem wasn't my wind pipe.

"Jacob? What's wrong?"

I could feel my face going red from lack of oxygen, my body becoming weak, and my sight becoming blurred. Oh fuck, I was going to pass out and die.

_**DIE!**_

I don't know about you, but to me, that was a _huge_ deal.

I felt my eyes close, only to open at a sharp pain in my abdomen.

My throat gagged and blood dripped down my chin.

I took gulps of air. I was acting as though I'd never get it again. Well, I'd gone a minute or two without it, and did it hurt? Yes.

I doubled over, clutching my stomach. Why did it suddenly stop?

I looked over at Dr Hale who had made to attempted to help me at all. His eyes were fixed on me, well I say _me_ but I mean the blood slowly sliding down my chin, to my neck. Lust shot through them, as if it were _teasing_ him. Was he into the whole blood thing? Bondage? S and M? What the fuck? Why did I want to know?

_**Because I wanted to be the little slave, taking his big, thick cock up my ass.**_

I stiffened.

Had I just thought that?

Yes.

Was he staring at the blood strolling down my neck?

Yes.

Was I going to stay there?

No.

I quickly straightened and bolted out of the room, out of the building. I wasn't going to go there again.

___

The next day, when I woke, my body refused to answer my brain. My head was clouded with pain, and my body was heavy with exhaustion.

I had to rush to school..._again_. I woken up late, and well, my legs weren't running that fast, so I was late for school, late for class and hell, late to hand in my _unwritten_ homework.

My classes went as usual, quick and painless. I paid attention...well, as best as I could with a killer migraine. It wasn't a headache, I'd figured that out. I'd drank water, I'd ea-

I hadn't eaten in over 3 days. That had to be why my head was hurting so damn much. But if that was the case, why hasn't my stomach hurting? In fact, why the fuck had I coughed one blob of blood up yesterday after that sharp pain?

I didn't hear the bell ring for lunch, my teacher, Mr Sweat (I think his name was actually Mr Bell but he sweated...a lot. He's swipe his forehead with the same cloth he wiped his underarms with...and from the looks of it, it hadn't been washed in a while...) had to come over to me and tell me, with his sweaty forehead and smelly armpits. I shuddered mentally, if I ever turned out like that, I'd lose weight for starters and then go to the local store and buy some Lynx. It's not just a deodorants, it's an antiperspirant.

I slowly made my way into the canteen, only to have my stomach growl at the smell of food. My saliva glands opened up and I was drooling. I'd forgotten to pack something, so I would have to make to do with waiting till I got back to the tent.

I sat at the smallest table in the room, pulling out my unwritten homework and begun writing. Better late than never, right?

I wasn't in the greatest of moods while writing this essay on my 'family life'. Yeah, I had one minor problem; I didn't have a family life. I lived in a tent, in the fucking forest, with little food, hardly any money and limited access to water and showers.

What was I going to do about school holidays? Half term holidays were approaching, meaning for one week I'd have no water supply and no access to a shower.

I sat nibbling on my bottom lip as I thought about the holidays. I had nowhere to go, no one to ask for help. I couldn't exactly go back into Dr Hale's office and beg-

I winced in pain. My head was getting worse, the throb was getting worse. I closed my eyes and begged whatever God maybe out there to get rid of the pain.

They didn't listen.

The bell splintered my head. I packed up my crap and headed for my Ancient Mythology class. Dr Hale would be there.

How the fuck can a student also be a doctor? Did he have that disease where your body looks young but you're actually 38 or something? Kind of that that movie I saw last year, Orphan I think it was...

I sat in my usual seat, at the back, and waiting for the class to start.

Dr Hale took his seat next to me, he didn't speak to me. He didn't look at me. We sat in one of those uncomfortable silences where you want to ask a million questions but you don't dare in case he _eats_ you.

Throughout class, my migraine became more of a burden. The throbbing became so intense that it hurt to open my eyes.

I laid my head on the table, enjoying the cool wood against my sore head.

Suddenly, the pain spread through my body. Slowly, it travelled down my neck, pooling out when it reached my shoulders, holding my comfort hostage and causing it great pain. Extreme pain.

Travelling south, the pain reached my abdomen, bite white burning shot through me.

My arms were being pulled, my legs the same. It were a piece of blue tack, being pulled and rolled until I snapped and trust me, I was on the verge of snapping.

My face stung and I could feel my teeth popping out of my gums.

This was gruesome. This was torture.

I could feel their stares on me. I could hear their whispers. I could _smell_ their fear.

The pain was gone.

I tipped my head back and howled.

I howled like an animal.

It wasn't like before, where I screamed in pain.

Oh no, I howled, like a _wolf_.

___

Sorry it took so long. I've been ill and preparing for school to start. Wonderful.

Anyway, here it is. My chapter. Sorry it wasn't much. I'm not sure when I can update again so, hope you're happy with this.

~ Alt3Etf.


	6. Magnificent Creature

**Title: **I Can Feel Your Feelings Through This White Paper.

**Author:** _alt-3-etf_

**Beta: **_EVS_

**Pairing:** Jasper and Jacob

**Summary: **AU. The Blacks move back to Forks after Billy's accident. Jacob's principle offers Jacob a shrink, only to have it to be the vampire who not only despises the young wolf, but wants to rip his throat out and drink him dray. It's not too good when Jacob imprints on him.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any Twilight characters. OC's where needed, no one major. Some minor changes too – they have fangs that come out when they get aroused, smell blood etc. They also sleep eventually just every...two weeks or so, not every night.

**Warnings: **Cursing, Male on male [eventually], mythological creatures. **RACIST COMMENTS I DO NOT MEAN TO OFFEND!**

**Author's Note: **Thank you everyone who reviewed, read and added me/this fic to their favourites. It honestly makes me smile :) I'm sorry it's taken me so long, I've been at school for just under a month, starting my a-levels and I've only had the time to do homework!!!

___

**Jasper**

I walked through the front door of my surgery, a smile plastered on my face.

Alice had told me today was going to be a good day and well, why not make good use out of it?

Alice and I had never been a couple...we'd been best friends since I was turned. She...found me. I wasn't paying attention that day but she was _there_. She shouted at me for taking my sweet ass time. I smiled pleasantly at her because I knew, we may not be _together_ but we'd be together always.

"Jasper, you're next client is here to see you," Esme chimed.

Excitement radiated from her. What was with the emotion?

"You're excited, who is it?" I replied bluntly, the smile I had pasted on my face now non-existant.

Her excitement subsided and worry scurried in.

"I think you should just go in Jasper..."

I looked at my adoptive mother for a moment. Who was it?

I sighed and walked into my office.

Anxiety was flowing through the air, I could smell fear.

I slowly opened the door and glared.

It was _him_. The _dog_. I didn't want him here, he wasn't welcome. He wasn't worth my presence!

I heard his heart tremble with terror. I wanted to smirk but I didn't. I was professional.

"Please, sit." I gestured with my hand. I wanted to rip his throat out for even stepping foot inside my work.

He sat down on the long sofa and I sat down in my chair.

You're confused aren't you? To why I'm a doctor? Well, what can I say? I'm old enough to be your great, great, great grandfather.

"Well, let's start from the beginning shall we?" I asked

He grunted, "Which beginning?" He was angry. Distraught.

I smiled shortly, "Well, why don't you start with why you moved _away_ from Forks in the first place." I could feel his nerves. Building and building. Anger. Hatred. Fear.

I felt my hair fall in front of my face. I was going to move it. Honestly I was but...he was too intriguing. It seemed he had no idea what he was. _Who_ he was.

How could he not?

I did.

I didn't even know him and I knew what he was.

When I called him a dog he seems so...offended. Not because I called him a dog but _why_ I called him a dog. He thought he was human – Edward said.

Lust hit me. I stopped myself from shifting.

He suddenly blinked fast, close to tears. His heart was racing. His blood sprinting through his veins...

Ugh I could smell him! The blood...the tainted blood...even from an animal it smelled divine.

I looked at him closely.

When we change, we lose the capability of seeing colours. We're colour blind. Our eye site is greyscale and infrared but...once we find our soul mates, we see again. As if we are relived of this...oppression. Weird isn't it? That's why we can see so clearly in the dark...

I looked even closer.

Then I saw it.

The colours.

His eyes weren't grey or black. His eyes were _brown_...I was seeing colours!

I could see colours! Oh how I wanted to laugh, shout, _sing_!

Vampires feel nothing, until they meet their mates. Not love, not hate, not even despair. All we have is an empty vacuum. No feelings, no colours.

Unfortunately, I can feel _other_ people's emotions. I've envied them since I changed. I wanted to be laugh, I wanted to love. I wanted to cry.

Then I felt it.

The emotions.

They swirled round my head.

Round and round and round.

I wanted to pin him down and claim him.

He was _mine_.

He had to be.

No, he couldn't.

He was a _dog_.

"I-I don't know why we moved away. My mom said it was because they needed a change of scenery..." He stuttered and gulped. I saw the blood rush to his cheeks. I _smelt _it. I saw his cheeks turn _red_. **RED**!

"Oh, so why did you move back?" I blinked. I was seeing things. I couldn't see colours. I would never be able to see colours.

"It's a long story," He muttered with a low and unemotive voice.

It stung him to think about it. I felt it from the bit of his stomach. The ache, the pain.

"Obviously, this _long story_ has a strong, emotional hold on you."

He glared at me. Anger crossed his mind.

"You feel angry that I know it has a hold on you."

He grunted.

"So, Jacob, are you going to continue?" My hand gave a soft gesture for hum to continue. He stared at me blankly.

"What is there to continue? We moved away because my mom wanted to, nothing else to tell."

I pulled out a pad of white paper, and a pen in my hand. Beginning to scribble away his feelings. His anger, his hatred. His pain.

It burnt through my head. I felt his migraine pass through me like a bullet.

I lift my head quickly, looking at him, "Are you okay Jacob?"

He opened his mouth to speak but he couldn't, the pain closed his throat. My throat.

My chest became tight, I felt my heart move.

...my heart move.

My heart...

Beat.

My heart was beating.

My _heart_ was beating.

My stone cold...still heart was beating.

Racing.

He stood, angry that it didn't help his windpipe.

"Jacob? What's wrong?"

His face went red...his lack of oxygen was worrying me but I couldn't touch him.

No, my body was shaking. My head was bounding. My heart was beating.

Pain ripped through me. It wasn't his pain.

It was _mine_.

I was panicking. About him. About me.

Fire burnt my abdomen.

His gagged and blood poured out of his mouth. I stiffened.

Blood.

God...beautiful blood.

His beautiful blood.

He doubled over.

I wanted to help.

I wanted to hold him. Kiss him.

I wanted to _claim_ him.

Lust waved over me again, it wasn't just mine.

He looked at me.

His gaze penetrating my skin.

Then...he fled.

Gone.

Out of sight.

___

As soon as his scent left my nose, I sprinted out.

I left the building.

I left the town.

If I could, I would have left the country.

I ran.

Miles and miles I ran.

Going nowhere, seeing no one.

I forgot about blending in.

I forgot about slowing down.

I used my legs, and gravity to pull me away.

My emotions were on trips. I was happy, then sad. Then angry, then distraught. I wanted to laugh, and cry. I wanted to scream, and sing.

I wanted to rip every since cell from my body.

I stopped.

I stood in the centre of the highway.

The sun was bright, the cars were swerving round me, shouting anonymous words and phrases to insults me.

I was deaf.

The sound of my own beating heart terrified me.

I was dead.

I was _supposed_ to be dead.

Never ageing, never growing, never beating.

I couldn't be alive, it was impossible.

I was dead.

A predator, a monster.

A disgusting creature like me didn't deserve to live.

___

I was against the idea of speeding back to Forks, so I jugged. Human speed.

When I arrived home, around 4am, I was bombarded with emotions and questions.

"Where have you been?!"

"Alice couldn't see you, are you okay?"

"What's wrong Jasper?"

"Don't you ever go out like that again!"

Standing still, I looked at my family.

"I'm a vampire, not a child," I hissed.

Their questions died out.

The colours soaked my eyes. No matter how mad I was, I couldn't stop the warm feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I could see colours. For the first time in over 146 years, I could see colours.

Then I felt it.

The push in my head.

An intruder I _didn't_ want.

"_Get the __**fuck**__ out of my head Edward!_" I spat.

Confused smacked me.

"Jasper..."

"What?"

"Is that _your_ heart that's beating?"

___

I refused to go to school.

I couldn't see him there.

No.

Not while he was wasting away to nothing.

Not eating.

Not sleeping.

Damn, I could smell his stench a mile away!

No.

I refused.

Why did I care?

Fuck knows.

Did I want to know?

No.

He wasn't my mate, simple as.

Because if he was, he'd be vampire or human, not a _dog_.

He was a dog.

Regardless of how amazing and innocent you may find him.

He hates me and my kind alike.

So...

How can we love each other when we hate each other?

I swear to God, I _refuse _to be Juliette in this story.

I went though.

To class.

I couldn't stop myself.

The thought of him being there alone...without me ripped my insides.

I wanted to be close to him, to smell him, to taste him...to _claim_ him.

He was mine.

I don't care about laws, or facts or nature.

He was to be mine and God strike me down now, I was going to get him.

I sat in class.

His body so close to mine.

I could smell his blood pumping through his veins.

I could feel his emotions running through his body.

It struck me like lightening.

The change.

_His_ change.

My cells were dividing, my blood was spilling.

My hairs tugged at my scalp.

My body was being snapped and rolled. Flicked and kicked.

Until finally, I saw the magnificent creature he was.

A _wolf_.

___

**A/N:** Sorry it took so long!!!! God school is a pain in the ass right? Stupid Alevels. Anyone like Hey Monday? I do ^^ saw them at Leeds cockpit last weeks. (Y) Now, its Greenday, A Skylit Drive, then Paramore...oh yeah. Anyway, thank you for reading and I hope to update soon. I hope this was worth the wait...hopefully.


	7. Fear

**Title: **I Can Feel Your Feelings Through This White Paper.

**Author:** _alt-3-etf_

**Beta: **_EVS_

**Pairing:** Jasper and Jacob

**Summary: **AU. The Blacks move back to Forks after Billy's accident. Jacob's principle offers Jacob a shrink, only to have it to be the vampire who not only despises the young wolf, but wants to rip his throat out and drink him dray. It's not too good when Jacob imprints on him.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any Twilight characters. OC's where needed, no one major. Some minor changes too – they have fangs that come out when they get aroused, smell blood etc. They also sleep eventually just every...two weeks or so, not every night.

**Warnings: **Cursing, Male on male [eventually], mythological creatures. **RACIST COMMENTS I DO NOT MEAN TO OFFEND!**

**Author's Note: **Thank you everyone who reviewed, read and added me/this fic to their favourites. It honestly makes me smile :) Sorry again! Course work just seems to be piling up!!!! Although this Friday I get two weeks off for Halloween ^^, so I should be updating more.

___

**Jasper**

The change.

_His_ change.

My cells were dividing, my blood was spilling.

My hairs tugged at my scalp.

My body was being snapped and rolled. Flicked and kicked.

Until finally, I saw the magnificent creature he was.

A _wolf_.

My eyes bulged as they gorged the animal in front of me.

He was _beautiful_.

His fur, the deep sandy colour of his skin, his eyes as deep as space, his huge paws...

I realised.

He'd phased in front of humans..._shit_.

Before it could even _register_ the screams and panic in the room, the fire alarm sounded setting off the sprays and causing even more chaos.

As the students fled my siblings appeared beside the wolf, pinning him down.

I looked down at his defenceless body, scanning his fur...his face.

Sorrow. Fear. Confusion.

Our eyes locked. I froze.

My ears echoed. I felt my heart pounding. I felt the warmth spread throughout my body.

'_Help me'_

My world sped up. Noises flooded into my ears, movement became clear.

Edward pinning Jacob.

_My_ Jacob.

His fangs extended. Black eyes. No emotion.

_NO!_

I didn't think...because if I _had_ I wouldn't have done it...

I bolted toward my wolf, knocking Edward out of the way, sending him across the room and _through_ the wall.

I felt my other siblings.

Emmett, confused.

Rosalie, annoyed.

Alice...happy?

I didn't wait for retaliation; I scooped the shifter up and ran.

I ran from school.

I ran from my family.

I ran to the reserve.

As soon as I crossed the line, I felt their anger. The spirits. The other wolves.

Looking down at Jacob, he laid still. Only breathing.

His body heat penetrating my marble skin.

I smiled.

I was meant to be with him. I knew it.

Otherwise...my heart would stay frozen.

Otherwise my emotions would have been others.

Otherwise, my world would have forever been colourless.

He was meant for me as I for him.

My life mate.

___

Anger hit me like a brick.

I came to a halt and spun round, gripping the young wolf tightly.

A man. A tall man. A tall, authorative man stood.

"_Who are you?_" his venomous voice spat.

"I am Jasper Cullen," I replied softly.

"Why are you here?!"

I examined my questioner. His eyes shone fear but his emotions stabbed anger.

"I am here to return a wolf," I stated.

He looked confused. Wonder drifted through the air.

"We don't have wolves here _leech_."

I smiled sweetly, "no but you have shape shifters."

Astonished, he stepped back.

"He phased in class. He is in pain. You need to take care of him."

Re-bracing himself, the man stood his ground, "no we do not. He was exiled."

My grip loosened on Jacob, my gaze drifting down to his muzzle.

"Why would you exile such a loving creature?"

The man snorted, "He's a murderer."

I blinked, "he has only phased this one time."

"How do you know?" he glared.

"He is my life mate," I answered automatically.

I blinked quickly. Wow that sounded weird.

"Your _what_?"

"My life mate."

He laughed and shook his head, "You've broken the treaty, leech. You're going to start a war."

"I haven't broken the treaty if I am aiding one of your own."

"He is not one of us."

I stared at him.

"Then a war there shall be."

___

Ah, sorry it's shit . Tell me how bad it was? Thank you.


	8. Beginning of Acceptance

**Title: **I Can Feel Your Feelings Through This White Paper.

**Author:** _alt-3-etf_

**Beta: **_EVS_

**Pairing:** Jasper and Jacob

**Summary: **AU. The Blacks move back to Forks after Billy's accident. Jacob's principle offers Jacob a shrink, only to have it to be the vampire who not only despises the young wolf, but wants to rip his throat out and drink him dray. It's not too good when Jacob imprints on him.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any Twilight characters. OC's where needed, no one major. Some minor changes too – they have fangs that come out when they get aroused, smell blood etc. They also sleep eventually just every...two weeks or so, not every night.

**Warnings: **Cursing, Male on male [eventually], mythological creatures. **RACIST COMMENTS I DO NOT MEAN TO OFFEND!**

**Author's Note: **Thank you everyone who reviewed, read and added me/this fic to their favourites. It honestly makes me smile :)

___

**Jacob**

I honestly have no idea how I got here.

I don't know how my life went from the average teenage life with a mom, dad and a sister to a life of scrounging with a tent, no food or water. Maybe it was because I wasn't worth anything. Obviously I wasn't worth my mom's or sister's life. Obviously my dad didn't think I was worth living with his name on my birth certificate.

I wasn't worth anything.

I wasn't even worth Dr Hale; he made that extremely clear when he did nothing to help me. So did his brother, Edward. He didn't seem to like me very much. Apparently I was a dog but they were wrong, I wasn't even that.

Alice however...Alice didn't treat me like shit. She made me feel like maybe in some fucked up way I was worth something...but obviously not as I haven't heard from her since that day in the canteen.

I don't know what I am. I'm human I guess or...I thought I was human before _this_ happened. Before my body decided I wasn't worth the human image and changed me into some kind of dog/wolf thing.

Perhaps I was looking into it too deeply. Maybe I'm dreaming. Yeah that sounds eligible.

Or perhaps, in my genes which go back over a thousand years, I have werewolf genes in me. Or perhaps I was a shifter whose genes chose the form of a wolf, ya know like in my Ancient Mythology class...but then again, why would I have something such extraordinary in my genes? I was just some worthless piece of shit that had been placed on this planet by mistake. That was it.

I was a _mistake_.

My mother didn't really want me; otherwise she wouldn't have left me alone. Rachel didn't want me...she left me too and I sure as hell I wasn't wanted by Billy.

I was a murderer. I'd heard it enough times to believe it. To realise it.

If I hadn't let him...touch me. Maybe they'd still be alive and it would just be me hurting instead of Billy too...he may have disowned me and claimed I wasn't his son but...I still loved him. He was my father whether he liked it or not.

___

To be frank, I wasn't in the greatest of moods when I woke. I didn't know how long I had been passed out, in fact I still don't know, they haven't told me.

I didn't want to move my aching arms but you know, the funny thing is when I looked at my arms they were _legs_.

Brick stained furry legs.

And if that wasn't enough, I looked down to where my hands were _supposed_ to be and I found enormous paws, paws that should belong to a fucking _bear_. Not a pathetic human.

I tried to scream in horror but it kinda turned into a pathetic whimper.

As if they had supersonic hearing, someone crashed the door open and ran to my side. It was then I realised my body laid on a bed not on the floor like I thought...

I looked up at this stranger and found none other than Dr Hale. I felt my lips peel back allowing a growl slip through my teeth. He was accustom by my animal instinct because obviously I'd never done this before. Heck I'd never _been_ this before. His understand smile reached his eyes. He seemed to understand what I went through and hell, what I was still going through.

My headache had gone but my body was still sore. In fact sore wasn't the word for it. I was in agony. I was weak and I allowed him to see it.

"Jake..." his voice fluttered through my body. It was weird.

My heart began pounding in my chest, my tail was wagging lively and oddly, I recognised him.

No, not because I'd met him before because that would make me sound even more of an idiot but no, something inside me recognised him like I _knew _him, like I knew his secrets, his thoughts, his emotions. I craved his fingers to brush behind what I could imagine, wolf ears. I suddenly wanted to be human again, because the erection growing in my groin was become incredibly difficult to control.

I didn't understand. Why did I feel like this? How did I recognise him? And why the _fuck_ was I this dog?!

I whined.

"Jake, you need to change back," he whispered gently. His hand brushed behind my ears softly.

I felt my eyebrows, or what was supposed to be eyebrows, fuse together. I didn't know I could turn back into a human but I was suffering one little problem, I didn't know _how_ to change back into a human.

"I know you're confused but you need to Jake. If you don't you won't ever be able to. Just...concentrate. Think about being human again, having two legs and two arms, having hair on your head and only on your head. I know its hard Jake but please...for me."

I closed my eyes tightly. Somehow, his words spoke to me in a sense. I don't think I've ever understood anything more than what he said.

I began to unravel my mind. I thought about being human again. I thought about having all the little perks of being human, a cell phone, a car, and a pet even a house to live in.

Suddenly the bright white burning shot through me again but it was gone as soon as it came.

Dr Hale smiled at me. A gentle, loving smile which gave my stomach butterflies.

I looked down my very naked body. It was different, bigger, muscular. And I was indeed, human again, the massive 'fuck off' boner was proof. I quickly dragged my knees upward, a sad attempt to hide it but the Doctor just placed his hand on my thigh and shook his head.

His touch flashed through me like a jolt of electricity. It made my erection ten times harder and my need ten times greedier.

"W-who a-are you-u?" My voice came out dry and croaky.

He hushed me and smiled, "I'm Jasper you already know who I am."

I moved my arms, lifted my body and sat up slowly. My body did still ache, I didn't want to rip any muscles out of place and make the pain even worse.

"Jasper..." His name sent shivers down my spine. The letters seemed to just roll from my lips like a cliché romance movie.

"Jacob, there is much I need to tell you." He entwined my fingers in his and kissed my knuckles, one by one.

"Why...why are you speaking like we're in the 18th century?" My eyes were plastered on his lips. Each kiss was like a needle jabbing my skin, making the lust I felt towards him rise uncontrollably.

He laughed softly; his voice was like music to my ears, wonderful, beautiful music.

"I apologise, I thought if I spoke like a proper gentlemen then you were less likely to freak out when you woke up."

He held my hand tighter, "Jake, I need to explain to you why you changed..."

I shook my head, "I understand. Obviously somewhere...far, far back in my family tree, one of my relatives was a werewolf or a shape shifter...I don't think my da- Billy, was because he never changed...from what I know..." I looked down at my knees, feeling the tears spike my eyes.

My knight in shining armour leaned forward and kissed my temple and no matter how innocent and loving that act may have been I suddenly wanted to shove him on the floor and fuck him senseless.

He nodded and began stroking my palm.

"I'm sorry about your father Jake, you don't deserve the way he treated you but I promise you, I would never, ever treat you like that."

I raised my eyebrows, "what do you mean?"

He sighed and let go of my hand. My stomach dropped from the loss of contract.

"Jake...you're my life mate. My soul mate, whatever you want to call it. We're two halves of the same whole. We share the same soul."

I stared at him for a moment. He had to be shitting me. Soul mate? Me? The only mate I was good for was one of those that take all the beatings from a rich man because he's too terrified to hit his wife 'cause she's sleeping the Don of the local Mafia.

"W-what term...would people like me use?" I asked quietly.

"Imprinting," he said.

As if someone had switch onto a light switch memories flushed back into my mind. Memories that _never_ happened to me...in this life time.

"We've met before?"

"Yes Jake, we have."

"We've been together before?"

"We have."

"You...were my husband?"

At this, he smiled, "Yes Jake we were married more than once."

My hands began to tremble. How could we have married? I mean single sex couples can't even marry now but if it was a previous life time, homosexuals weren't even allowed to out in the open so how on earth could we have been married if-

"I was a fucking _woman_?!"

He chuckled, "Yes Jake, we've both been our fair share of sexes."

"But...how did you know? I mean, I'm a werewolf or a shape shifter or...whatever but you're just a human...aren't you?"

His body stiffen, "No Jake, I'm not just a human."

Shit, I'd offended him, "No I didn't mean it in an offensive way I meant it as...you're a human, how do you know these things?"

His hands gripped my bare shoulders and it was then I realised his hands were _ice_ cold again my skin. I could feel the steam coming from us, my body was on fire. I'd just come inside from a snowy day and my shoulders were burning as I sat near the fire.

I lifted my gaze from his arms to his amber eyes. They were burning through me. His gaze was penetrating my soul, I knew it was. So intense and sincere, he obviously thought I should know what he was...

He opened his mouth slightly, allowing me to see his magnificent, pearly white teeth. I smiled, "You have nice teeth."

As he grunted, I frowned.

"Jacob, this is what I am," he hissed. He suddenly bent down to my shoulder and bit down.

I cried out shamelessly, automatically threading my fingers in his hair. I felt his mouth begin to suck and I suddenly didn't give a shit about the noise I made.

I continued to moan and groan as he took my blood, drop by drop. Whatever he was doing was fucking erotic. His hands travelled down my chest, lower and lower until they reached my hips. He gripped them hard burrowing his nails under my flesh.

My hips bucked under him but he wouldn't move. With his lips still attached to my shoulder and his throat still guzzling my blood, he began to straddle me making this whole ordeal a lot more comfortable.

A growl escaped from deep within his throat as he began to rock his hips gently against my skin. I cried out again, only this time tears splashed from my eyes.

"Jasper..." I whimpered.

He pulled back immediately and scrambled off my body only he did it with grace and elegance, if I had done it I would have landed on my ass, no two ways about it.

"I'm...I'm so sorry Jacob I didn't mean to! I'm sorry!" His body started shaking and the tears started leaking.

I got up slowly, again muscles not in too good a shape and stood next to him.

"Jasper I'm fine."

He shook his head, refusing to meet my eyes.

I gently gripped his chin, forcing him to face me and my gaze. I smiled gently at him.

I don't know what it was, normally I wouldn't do this...not even with a girl but something about Jasper...Jasper...I don't know! He just made me feel...love? Compassion? I don't know. He just made me _feel_ for once in my life.

"Jasper, I'm fine. I enjoyed it. In fact, I'm surprised you couldn't tell by the noises I was making," I laughed.

He sighed lightly and embraced me tightly, "I didn't mean to take so much but you're so...intoxicating."

I smiled while rubbing his back. I was trying to tell myself I wasn't turned on with his face in my neck and his breath hitting my skin but it wasn't really working.

"I'm sorry I was so rude to you in class and horrible at the clinic..." he sobbed.

I shook my head, "don't worry Jasper, you're forgiven."

He pulled back gently and smiled. Slowly he leaned into my face, looking into my eyes before placing a lonesome kiss on my lips. I didn't want it to be gentle. Not after that episode.

Again I threaded my fingers in his hair and pulled him close, giving me access to kiss him how I wanted.

And I did.

My lips met his and waves of pleasure erupted inside me. Every time his tongue grazed mine I could do nothing but moan.

We separated.

"Jake, I love you."

I froze. He loved me? What was I supposed to say? I didn't know him. I didn't know me. He was, I think, a vampire and I was a wolf...thing. Weren't we supposed to be enemies? Maybe?

"Uh...Jasper I-"

I was crudely interrupted by the door being opened with none other than Alice running in.

"Jasper, we need to move."

He moved in front of my naked form, blocking my brick coloured skin from site.

"Why? What's happened?"

She looked from me to Jasper.

"It's the war Jasper, it's started."

___

A/N: Bonjour :) I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I'm sorry I haven't updated much in the past two weeks [course work is a BITCH] And turns out I may not be able to update for a while. I got back to school on Monday and in two weeks I have my audition for Britain's Got Talent, so I kinda need to practice. Anyway, I hope you're all well and tell me what you think!

Alt3etf


	9. Removing the Dust

**Fuck me, it's been almost a year since I updated this? Wow, well my laptop has died 3 times and my main computer has died on me also, along with my mum's laptop (I have an electronic magical touch). Well my year's been interesting. I sang for the Pope when he visited England, I went to Disney Land Paris, sang in France, went to many gigs, finished my AS levels (and failed Biology as predicted). I've read many books, listened to new bands, had my birthday, got my provisional license, gotten a kitten, gone into therapy, gotten new phones, and now started college (English college, like 6****th**** form, not American college, like uni.) So I wrote loads of drafts for this fic (all of which are lost) so I'm starting this with a totally different take and hopefully you'll like it. Thanks for bearing with me, life has been hectic. Tell me about your year when you review this!**

**This is kind of a filler chapter, even though it shows you snippets of what's happened/to come. You'll get it in later chapters!**

"_And how do you feel about that?"_

"_How do I feel? Well what do you think Doctor Genius? I have no idea what I am because I have no family, I have no idea _who_ I am because all I have to go by are some ancient books and you, oh and I seem to have this little problem of _randomly shifting into a dog_! How do you think I feel about that?"_

"_Now Jacob, I don't think getting angry at me will solve any of this."_

"_Oh fuck off with your therapy bull shit. My dad hates me because I was the one saved from the crash, not my sister or my mother. The whole tribe hates me because I'm imprinted to you, I can't go back to school because I shifted in class, and I can't go out into the woods and shift because the pack which I am supposed to be alpha of will kill me, so just...fuck off!"_

"_Jacob calm down."_

"_Oh no, don't use that weird fucking power on me Jasper Hale because if you do you won't be having sex until my next life and with my life span as a wolf being longer than a human's you're pretty much fucked aren't you? Oh wait, you aren't because I won't let you!"_

"_Now's not the time to make idle threats-"_

"_Idle? _Idle?_ There's nothing idle about it Jasper. So stop acting like a fucking shrink and start acting like my imprint!"_

Jasper

Sitting was not my favourite pass time activity. Watching Jacob sleep however, was. I loved how his tanned face would be absent of stress or worry, his jaw would hang open, allowing soft snores to erupt from his throat and saliva to run down his chin. To you, it may not be a pretty sight but to me? Well, when I eventually fall asleep, it's a dream I dream I'm having.

Not only is it adorable, it's down right sexy. His body's changed since he began to shift. He's taller than me by a good few inches, he stands at 6ft right now but he's still growing. His body has filled out, stretching the skin with hard, firm muscles which I love to have against me. His hands are now paws, with a span so wide it sends shivers down my spine. His lips are plump which radiate heat and when they're against my skin, send a hot white spark through my body.

"Jasper, please can you keep your thoughts down?" Edward begged.

"I can't help it Edward, he's just so beautiful," I whispered.

He sat beside me, silent. He didn't have to say anything to let me know he was scanning my thoughts, trying to understand what I saw in the young wolf, why I was so fascinated with him, why I was his soul mate.

"You won't find what you're looking for," I started. "It's just an attraction which has been there since we were both created. We're meant to be, so stop trying to find the loop hole."

"Jasper, please, you have to know how this is affecting him. He can't go home; he can't leave this house because if he does he'll be killed."

I turned and looked at my brother. "Don't you think I know that?" I cried. "I know what it's doing to him Edward; it's doing what it always has, killing him. I can't stop it, I've tried to and you know I have but this is fate! And if fate wants us to be together then I can't fight it anymore. I'm sick of fighting it." I sat back, closing my eyes before drawing a deep, calming breath.

"Jacob doesn't remember does he?" Edward asked.

"No, he doesn't. And he isn't going to. It's bad enough he remembers our past lives, he doesn't need to remember that."

"Okay, but if he remembers, I didn't tell him."

I grunted with a nod and turned back to my angel.

When Edward wondered out of the room, I lay on the bed next to my wolf, careful not to disturb his slumber. I watched as his chest would rise and then fall just as quickly. Snuggling closer, I wrapped an arm round his waist, making sure my cold skin made contact with his.

His snores were loud now that the room had begun to rise in temperature, obviously blocking his nose, creating such an oddly erotic noise.

I'm such a sicko, finding his snores somehow a turn on. Perhaps it's all the years of celibacy or yearning for Jacob. Or, maybe it's the fact that I have my Jacob with me but we have yet to have sex. I'm not a sex fiend, I promise, I just have needs, just like any other male animal. But that's what I am, an animal.

Not human, just a vestal for a blood thirsty animal. How can he stand to look at me? With those huge brown eyes and his pouting lips showing me I'm some how beautiful. No, that's what he is, beautiful, breathtaking.

I sighed before nuzzling my lover's neck. It was so warm and comfy, with his scent to drive me crazy.

He must never find out. He can not find out. My heart aches too much for him for him to undergo that pain.

Jacob. My poor Jacob. Completely oblivious to who or what he is.

Jacob

I woke with the delighting sensation of somebody next to me, Jasper.

His whisper curls fallen on his snow drifted face. His thick blonde lashes resting against his cheeks, Jasper.

I stood and stretched like the mutt I am, hearing my joins crick and crack before I straighten. Dusk had come, leaving the room dark however my sight unaffected.

Yawning, I wondered out of the room that had been designated mine and Jasper's. We moved from the Cullen's old house as it was too close to the boarder, making it harder for me to live in exile but this house was just as grant, just as extravagant. I hadn't had much time to explore the old Cullen's house so I decided to explore the new one.

The carpets were deep, royal colours, showing off their wealth and power. The furniture was antique but somehow modern; it gave the house a vintage effect.

I wondered through the hallway and peaked into different rooms but finding them full of sleeping vampires. Odd, I always thought vampires slept in the day. Shaking the thought from my head, I carried on down the hallway, only ending up face to face with a door I had never entered. I checked around me, making sure none of the Cullens were poking around before slowly opening the door and squeezing inside.

It was a small room full of worn out boxes. It wasn't lit but with my wolf instincts I could see perfectly. It's odd being a shifter, being able to change into another creature, being able to escape the burden of being human.

I stepped further into the room and closed the door shut behind me, making sure the noise wasn't too loud in case it woke someone.

So, there I was, shut in a room full of boxes. In a room full of stuff I'd never seen before, even in the old house. Well, they said curiosity killed the cat, good job I'm the dog's cousin.

Kneeling down next to the boxes closest to me, I opened the lid, causing dust to rise and tickle my nose. I sneezed.

"Gross, snot," I whined.

I wiped my hands on my thighs and carried on with my expedition.

Skipping past old vinyl records and VHS tapes, I found old photo albums. So, being the nosy little bugger I am, I pulled the albums out of the box and shifted so I was sat with my legs crossed.

Photograph after photograph held the Cullen's pale, beautiful faces. None of them had aged, not even the slightest.

Each piece of printed paper captured a memory in time; the Battle of Hastings, the French Revolution, World War I and II, some of the ink was faded and discoloured, others were bright and new.

Carrying on through the book witnessed his past lives through paper. Where he was female, where he was male and even where Jasper had been turned but what intrigued him most of all may not have other and if Jacob was a mere human, he would have missed it but he wasn't, he was a shifter and he saw it like the sun's blaze.

There, on the last page of the album was a small photograph, it had been folded and refolded so many times that there were creases through the whole thing however, it did not distract Jacob from what made his heart stop.

There he was as a baby, no more than 6 months old, beside him, his sister Rachel looking like the beautiful, radiant child she was but beside her was another girl, with the exact same eye, the exact same smile, the exact same girl.

It was a twin.


End file.
